Miss Chloe has been a sick little girl, sicker than she ever has been before. It started with random diarrhea Tuesday night, followed by a rash, followed by puking. It is now Sunday (and my FOURTH Mother's Day!) and she seems to be turning the corner.
Yesterday was really bad. The poor thing slept until 10:30, was up for an hour and then crawled on my lap, laid her head on my chest and fell asleep immediately. I think she was awake for maybe four hours total yesterday. She didn't even want me to play Pat-a-Cake with her, which is one of her favorites. She just kept asking for "song", more specifically the "bird song" which is Hush Little Baby (Mockingbird).
She slept all night last night on my chest too. As much as I hate that she is sick, there is something so magical and comforting about the weight of your baby's head on your chest. It always makes me feel so deeply loved and sentimental. And I love that she needs me when she is looking for comfort. Although is has made for a less than ideal Mother's Day regarding activities, sometimes life slows you down just when you need it to.
This isn't really an update, but a couple of pics from LAST YEAR that I never got around to posting. I feel overwhelmed with the lack of pictures I've posted so I figure I will just wipe the slate clean, post the couple cute ones I have and then just jump right back in. So there. Slate is clean and I will do better from now on! Super cute Easter pics (with legit pigtails!) to come soon!
Chloe is doing so great with weaning! She has asked each day but when I tell her mommy's milk is gone she fusses a few seconds and then when I offer her an alternative (food or a drink) she smiles and says, "okay," in her little elf voice. So cute! And such a relief to me! Tucker's weaning was torture for both of us so I am so glad this is going so well!
Oh, my sweet baby, today was the last time I nursed you. You woke up this morning at daybreak and for once I felt rested enough to actually get up with you instead of bringing you back to bed with me for more sleep while you nursed. I greeted you with a soft "Good Morning, Sweet Girl," and you asked for your usual "ulk."
We sat in the rocking chair in your room and we rocked while you nursed. We took our time, Tucker wasn't awake yet so it was just the two of us. It was so quiet and peaceful and although I didn't know it would be our last at the time, I drank in the moment and took some mental snapshots. Mornings like this are few, and far between and it was definitely special.
Your little pink footed sleeper, your request for three different "bankettes" to hold, your wispy morning hair, your bright brown eyes looking at me, the loud gulps as you filled your little belly. You got your fill of milk, gave me a kiss and climbed down off of my lap to go get a book to read.
After a day apart, when I came to pick you up at Grandma and Grandpa's house, you didn't ask to nurse immediately like you normally do. You sat on my lap while watching Lion King. When you finally asked, I told you, "not right now," and you were content with the answer. That was the first time it occurred to me that, just maybe, today was the last day.
When we finally got home, Tucker was asleep in the car and stayed asleep as I brought him into the house and put him in his bed. You and I sang songs, read books, I gave you a couple of cookies (a rare treat!), and we played for a while. It was in those moments with you that I realized that our morning was exactly how I wanted this part of our relationship to end.
Without me knowing ahead of time, which surely would have made me a sobbing mess in the moment.
Without me sleeping through it, which I often did during your morning milk.
Without anyone else present, so I could really absorb and drink in the moment.
When it was time for bed, you were quite upset when I put you in your crib without our normal nursing ritual. You cried for about twenty minutes and then fell asleep. I sat in the kitchen, questioning whether this was really the end and I surprisingly felt good about it. I cried when I told Daddy and I have cried while writing you this letter. But I know this is the perfect ending to the perfect nursing relationship.
1100 days ago I started breastfeeding Tucker. I nursed him all throughout my pregnancy with you, and tandem nursed both of you for nine months. I weaned him and continued nursing you by yourself for another nine months. It has been my absolute pleasure and privilege to give you such an amazing gift.
I love you Baby Girl. I am excited to start the next chapter with you.
I cannot stand when little kids are sassy, mouthy, or lippy. Tempers and attitude are two things I do not tolerate and I make my expectations very clear to my chlidren. That's not to say it never happens, it does, but I am quick to nip it in the bud so it does not continue and they know it is not acceptable.
Well, that is how I usually am.
Chloe has started just the slightest bit of sass. She has started telling me "No!" and "Don't!" And I'm ashamed to admit this, but it might just be the cutest thing I've ever seen and I am not super quick to correct her because it makes me smile and/or laugh every time. Seriously. Sass is cute on her, all 17.8 pounds of her. I'm also certain that it won't be cute in two more months or at all to another parent. And because of this, I really need to tighten the reigns on my tolerance with this before it gets worse.
Her personality is so different than Tucker's was at this age, her independence and sass make me just the teensiest bit pertrified of the future!